About Me

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Decision made

So... as of this time next year I will not be working .
(well let's just clarify that statement - I will not be working in this job. I will still be working bloomin hard as a mum and housewife, as PTA secretary, as a comfort to my Nan, doing my kids homework etc etc. Point being I am just giving up my job. It may be foolsish to say so on here, so for those that know me, keep it under your hats... :)

Anyway the last few weeks I have been quieter than usual on here and I have missed it, but my mind has been otherwise occupied and I know God hasn't been placing too much on my shoulders, no deep issues as I have had my own to deal with! I was ill and things came to a real head with work. It has been a weird old time it's true. But in all that, I have had so much peace about it all. I made the decision to give up work (won't bore you with the details, but it's not been easy...) as of Christmas this year. And I can't wait.

I have spent 6 months thinking this over and have swung from one extreme to the other. I have been fearful: fearful that God would want me to carry on! fearful of what I would do without work. Fearful that I would be letting people down.
I have been striving: striving to make this decision too quickly, striving to find answers in my own strength.
I have been impatient (in way too many ways to list...!
But I have also been joyful, uplifted, rewarded, appreciated and mostly prayerful. Actually I'm sure God is sick of hearing about my business... And the funny thing is that as I look back over the last 6 months, I can see God has actually answered so many of my prayers and requests about this issue, even when I thought he hadn't. I have been so wound up in the details of it that I couldn't see he was shaping me and the journey forward on this. And although I have been worried,fearful etc, I have actually been peaceful about it too (well, mostly...!) The business has caused me to be stressed a lot in the past and actually now, in this whole process which should have been the most stressful, there has been none. I thank God for that.

The one thing I was occupied with most has been wanting to do the right thing by God. As you know listening to him is still pretty new to me but I think I've been overly worried about it. And actually he has gven me confirmation at every turn - far more than I can ignore. Scriptures, advice and words from friends, even the sermon a few weeks back was perfect for me. I cannot ignore it and what's more I know I am doing the right thing.

I have no idea what he has planned for me next, although I am praying for a 6 month break.. (ideally abroad, somewhere hot... ;) ) but I am so excited.

I can't tell you how alien this is to me - I have probably posted about it before, but I am Mrs super-organised, I have everything planned to a T, I know what I want and I go get it. Having no plans would have, in the past, made me rather twitchy, but right now, well, I just feel... calm. Yes calm is the best way to describe it. I am not planning anything. I am leaving it all up to Him upstairs. Doors may open, doors may close, but it's bloody great!!

4 comments:

Alan Crawley said...

Hope and pray it all works out for you.

I didn't choose to leave my previous job, but it was one of the best things that happened to me.

Red said...

hey stranger - missing your posts!
thanks :)

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Suem said...

I am sure you have made the right decision. I have to say that, having given up work, my husband loves it! Money is quite a bit tighter though!